Make My Decision Lord

Dear Father in Heaven

All honour and glory to you, who have blessed me with so much love, as well as given me so much grace and mercy the past 52 years in existence, There is no one like you, for you are the Messiah, the King of all Kings, the Ruler of this universe which you created. You sent your Son, Jesus Christ to die for me and my brothers and sisters so that our sins could be washed away.

Jesus, 

Tonight, I am disturbed by the fact that I can't make a decision. I don't know if the decision I would make is in accordance to my mind or to my heart. 

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5-6). 

This verse tells me that I have to have Faith in you; that whatever decisions I make with regards to wanting to know you, it will be a good decision.

I find it hard to explain this little urge in my heart to get to know you better and to serve you, but something is stopping me. I found worldly, material things more enticing that doing ministry. I know I'm not cut out to be a full time pastor, for this job is not for every one who knows Christ well. You know me well enough, for you created me, Lord. And you know that that's not what I'm meant to be, but instead I still have some use for you.

Therefore, Jesus ... what I plan to do next must not be filled with regret, but with joy that I'm doing it most importantly for you, and for the goodness of myself and the community.

Lord, 

Each time I hear your Word on the YouTube channel or during Sunday sermons, I'm highly motivated and inspire, yet I'll revert to my old lazy, fearful, selfish ways. Yes, it's a confession of my sins - and these are the sins that would not help in my walk with Christ, or mature as a Christian. I must also confess that what I intend to do next involves parting with a small fraction of my money in order to learn more about the scriptures. Yes, I don't feel good about using part of my hard earned income, but remind me, Lord, that all my work, without your grace, will not be fruitful. All the salary that I've been getting is from you. Besides, "each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver." (2 Cor. 9:7). I must confess that all this while, I've been spending a whole lot more on wicked deeds and material things. I could have use all that money for something more worthy for people who really need it. Forgive me, Lord, for this is a great sin. Give me the strength to stop all this unnecessary expenditures.

Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, God for all the goodness that you've bestowed upon me.

Your child
Kevin